And Just Throw it All in a Blender With Some Gravy

I ordered
a large coffee,
plain,
with two
non-sugar sweeteners.

“Did you still
want the sugar
that comes in it?”
the girl asked,
clearly confused
by the concept.

Yes,
because I’m a sweetness
superhero.
I subsist solely on
sugar water
and high fructose corn syrup,
but I’ve been trying to
watch my weight.
I figure asking
for two sweeteners
instead of extra sugar
is a step
in the right direction.

Oh, and can I get
10 chicken sandwiches,
and 10 double cheeseburgers?
I used to get
a dozen each…
baby steps,
am I right?

Oh. And a diet soda.

I know worker pay
needs to be increased,
but no business
should ever have to pay
$15 an hour
for this woman.

-GD Butler

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