Paradoxical Undressing

I answered the phone
cheerfully humming.

“Uhhh…what are you…
doing?”

His tone of voice
suggested that
I sounded too happy
for someone
who had just
lost a friendship
of over 20 years
the day before.

“Shredding stuff,” I said,
humming.

“Shredding…what?”
Again that tone.

“Currently?
All the stuff
from Randy’s mother’s
funeral.”

Humming.
The sound of
the shredder.

“Uhhh…dude.
I know you’re mad,
but what the fuck?”

I cheerily replied,
“Well, she gave birth
to that fucking loser,
and obviously raised him
completely wrong,
so I’m
doing what you do
in this situation.”

Humming.
Paper shredding.

“Ohhh.
You’re going
full Scorpio
on this one.
Okay.
Never mind.”